My roomie has a long history of terrible relationships. None were abusive or anything; her relationships always ended with the guy screwing her over by cheating on her or not returning her calls. This guy she is with now, Jay, is one of those guys. They started dating in October. Everything started out fine. He went home for winter break and just stopped calling her. They didn't speak again until recently. They started getting back together again.
This is when the weird stuff happened. My roomie was living with her best friend, Kate, at this time. I'm not sure exactly of the situation (although it's starting to become more clear to me now) but Kate and my roomie got in a huge fight over something that happened with Jay. Kate and my roomie had been best friends since elementary school. When they moved out, they were no longer on speaking terms.
I found out later that Jay had stopped calling her again and wouldn't answer any of her texts or calls. A few weeks later, they started dating, again. Everything was going fine and then he pulled the same crap again A few weeks later, they got back together and they've been ok ever since (until he screws her over again......).
Jay is a creepy little bastard. For starters, he won't put a title on their relationship. She keeps asking if they're boyfriend and girlfriend and his response is, "I don't want to label us." Jay seems like the type that's always looking for something better. The reason why he stopped calling my roommate the last three times was because he found someone else who he thought would be better. My roommate is a great girl but I think Jay is just constantly on the look out for something better which is why he won't put a "label" on the relationship. This is where the problem comes in.
I feel like he hits on me and my friends. Nothing that I could really call him on...it's "woman's intuition" type stuff. The other day, I came home from work and had had a tough day. My roommate walked out of the room for a bit. That's when Jay walked over to me and started massaging my shoulders. I pulled away from him and he came back over. As soon as my roomie walked back in, he jumped away like ten feet.
A few nights ago, we were out partying and I brought one of my sorority sisters with us. Jay was drunk and went over to her and said, "You're the sexiest thing I've ever seen." Last week, I had my friend, Jen, over at my apartment. Jay was there. She told a funny joke; you know how sometimes you might hit someone on their arm or pat their back if they say something funny? Well, Jen informed me today that Jay patted her butt. Luckily, my roomie didn't see that.
The problem is that I don't think my roommate would believe it if we told her. She's so wrapped up in this guy and she's totally in love with him. She looks at him and thinks he could do no wrong. Everyone tells her that he's a jerk and that's why he screwed her over three different times. She tells herself that he just got "scared" because his love for her is so strong.
If I tell her, she gets pissed at me and I have to live with her for another year. I don't tell her and he'll just screw her over again. I also found out from a mutual friend that one of the reasons my roomie and Kate got in a fight last year was because Jay started hitting on Kate. Kate mentioned it to my roommate and it started WWIII.
So, my question is: should I tell my roommate or just keep it to myself?
Dear "Roommate Issues":
God, haven't we all known a "Jay"? This guy us a predator, and generally seeks out only girls who feel like shit about themselves and have no self esteem.
I hate to tell you this, but I think you know it already: There's no way you can make your roommate see that this guy is a creep. She is so desperate for "love" that she will do anything to hang on to this asshole. I hope he is at least good in the sack, but he strikes me as one of those guys who wants a blow job every day and half the time passes out in a drunken stupor, vomit-scented drool pooling into the folds of his neck, while you are in the middle of the scintillating task of sucking his dick.
Do you watch any of the Kardashian shows? Jay is the Scott Disick of your household. He will hang around like a creepy cockroach and there's not a thing you can do to stop it.
Sorry about you, honey. All you can do is roll your eyes, trash him to all your friends, and hold your roommate's hand while you take her to the free clinic when, inevitably, he gives her whatever dick rot he is bound to have from screwing everything in sight.
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