Major Mother-in-Law Problems

Dear Miss Monroe:

My fiance is 39 and I am 32.  We are both Catholic and we are getting married in the church.  The problem is that my future mother-in-law is pretty much the most oblivious person I know. She drives me crazy!  She shocked everyone by saying she actually wanted to help with the rehearsal dinner. She does not even offer to buy her own son dinner if we go out to eat as a group (my parents have to pay for his food), but they have money to buy a freaking beer and margarita.

She called my mom the other day and asked how many people were we expecting for the rehearsal dinner.  My mom told her around 70, and she absolutely flipped out over that. She thinks that the it should only be the bride the groom them and my parents and then wedding party (with no guests allowed) and the flower girl and ring bearer don't need to come, nor our grandparents or the priest!  My parents are pretty much preparing to pay for 100% of everything. But do we (my parents and my fiance) present her with a list of all the people we think should come (like a guest for the wedding party) and tell her to put a mark by everyone that she thinks should be there and then we pick up the bill for the rest and the ENTIRE WEDDING.   She does not know that our guest list has 550 people on it. She may just run away when she finds out that.  

What should I do?

Signed,

Major Mother-in-Law Problems

Dear "Major":


Several things come to mind here.  First of all, why aren't you and the groom paying for your own wedding?  Y'all aren't actually spring chickens or young kids just starting out.


Also, your future husband should pay for his own meal, like a damn man, when you are out as a group.  If your parents want to offer that's awesome, but seriously, his mother should be able to order an alcoholic beverage without you being annoyed that she is not paying for her grown-ass son's meal.


As far as the rehearsal dinner goes, let's be real here.  Wouldn't it be easier to just pay for it?  It would save you from getting bogged down in petty minutia.  Shit, have your mother-in-law take care of the flowers or something.


Keep in mind that your mother-in-law is likely to become more of a bitch as time goes on, not less of one.  Good luck with that.